I stopped drawing for a while... Here's why...
I stopped drawing for a while, here's why. A comic on coming back after experiencing major loss.
A lil comic after a hiatus from drawing and making art. Extended commentary after the comic for (free) subscribers ~
extended commentary
I stopped drawing for more than 1.5 years... I'm pretty sure, but I don't know the exact timeline. Haven't been keeping track. When I quit my job in 2022 and set off to "pursue my dreams" in travel and in art, a big upheaval happened in my personal life that, at the time, felt like it would destroy me. I knew there was no way for me to really focus on my art while in that state, so I allowed myself to put art and creativity on the back burner. I focused on letting myself feel my feelings, on taking care of myself, on healing, on getting busy and doing other things that were important to me. But I still thought about drawing a lot. An exception was that last summer I did work on an illustration for relevant work I was doing in person. It was a nice outlet for once to draw something that was less personal.
To return to drawing the personal (which has always been my priority) was difficult. By the time I drew this comic, I did feel ready again. So many ideas had pent up over time, I couldn't not put pen to paper (iPad). I storyboarded this piece back in April and finished it in the same month. I didn't want to show it to the world until this new site was ready.
The original intent of the comic was to kind of "soft launch" myself back into the world to be like "hey! I'm still here! Follow me and my art!" Perhaps an explainer on why I stopped drawing and posting. But the truth is, after so much time away from my creative projects and so much personal growth in the meantime, even I wasn't sure what would arise when I sketched this comic out. The art I used to draw doesn't seem relevant anymore, so what does this "new" me look like and what will I draw? I did end up surprising myself in the process and as a result, the point of the comic wasn't just about "coming back after a hiatus and why I stopped drawing" but also how my character and art has evolved or will be evolving since I experienced major loss.
During the draft process, I realized my art was not the same as it used to be. Maybe it was the life experienced I gained in the last 1.5 years, and the growing up I was forced to go through, and learning to be more honest with myself and those around me...it felt like walls I had up in the past, have come crashing down. And it's not a bad thing. In the past, I struggled with making art that exhibited true vulnerability and genuine feeling. As a result, the stuff I made came out with more naive and frivolous tones. Cute, colorful, funny, still. But I knew I was blocked and that I wasn't revealing what was really happening inside. How I was really feeling inside. This made drawing feel unfulfilling at times, because even though I had the intent to make something deeper, I'd hit a wall and felt like whatever I created didn't feel genuine to me or my original intent.
But something about the experiences I had in the last 1-2 years have really changed me. The way life crashed into me and the waves I rode through. From feeling like I would never recover and I was lost forever, to now feeling like myself again. More true to myself than I've ever been. Which also means being more in touch with my feelings and who I am at my core. I surprised myself when I drew this that I, on the spot, created a new character for myself. A tattered and tired Lydie. But one who is still alive and trying.
Now, it feels more accessible to create and discuss the shadows and dark sides of life, of our world. Previously, I was scared of being perceived, being judged, and in general, had a lot of shame around showing this side of me. But now that I'm a little older, a little wiser, I recognize these "darker sides" of life are things every single human-being goes through. It's why we all gravitate to consuming and creating art right? To know that we are not alone and find comfort in our shared humanity.
In the creative process realm, there were so many uncertainties about what colors I'd use or what brushes or what style I'd be drawing in...etc. Somehow, it did all come naturally. After completing this comic, I felt an inner reassurance, that the rest of what I'll create, will come. It's just about leaning into the present, the moment, into myself, honestly and genuinely. I'm happy with how this piece came out. I'm especially happy with the evolved new version of Lydie (comic me). Loving the hair and everything in it ~
Thanks for reading. I can't wait to share more art with you all.
If you're interested in following art & creativity content, follow the Thoughtful Wanders Art Studio @thoughtfulwanders_studio
